My son met "Scarlet" (this is not her real name) about two and half years ago on line - Xbox. But shrug your shoulders and say, "It's your life. In fact, I discovered later, the picture was taken several years earlier. Your son is going to college so he is working towards a goal. we seriously can't stand this girl can't even be in the same room with her without wanting to hurt her! He has never been pressured to study anything he does not want to - made his own choices & is supported in his hobbies & passions; which she is not really supporting as they take time from her. My son told me a thing or two and informed me that he was going with her. Not putting her down at all, but expressing that she just wasn't going to be the one to make him happy. The reality is that no matter what I did or you do, this girlfriend whoever she is, is there for a reason in your life. Physical abuse and aggressive language are obvious signs parents should notice instantly. Hello, my situation is very hard and I truly feel like my son hates me at this point. 2. Do your best to show how your wife has increased the joy in your life and their lives (your parents'). We made the mistake of letting her live in our home 5 months ago and my home has become so uncomfortable that we have asked her to move out. All she talks about is herself. I feel at a loss because my son and I have always been close until she came along. No bad-mouthing, no cursing, no anger. After a week I went to meet him for lunch and found out that he was living in his car! Scarlet is all about junk food. If the girl is "broken" in some way, he can be her hero or savior. We feel so sorry for him as it is obvious at times he feels so pulled from pillar to post. I'm afraid we have failed miserably with my son's recent girlfriend. We'll look at the advantages and disadvantages of growing up in the digital age. I asked my son if there's something between him and the girl, but he said they're just friends. I forgot to mention -- his girlfriend is moving away in June. also, this girl has done some things that have been very disturbing as well, that would scare any mother. My advice is to show only love and kindness toward your sons and their girlfriends. But as long as he is aware of what could be around the corner in a bad relationship, you must back off, let him make his mistakes, and let him find his joy. This content is accurate and true to the best of the authors knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional. What concerns me is that this new woman and son moved near me without her resolving her financial situation in the other state and that this new woman claims that my son would have her hide in the closet when my ex-spouse and his step mom would visit him. They talked all day, worked and slept with the cell phones connected. I panicked and began to shout which only sent them both farther away. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on September 22, 2013: Dear Concerned, I am sorry to hear of your grave situation. Not all life paths are meant to be easy and if he chooses a hard path, we'll walk it with him. I still would address my son and let him know that it is only fair that his gf cleans up after herself and perhaps they need to kick in extra money for the extra expenses she creates with groceries, utilities, etc. Dear Amy: My 18-year-old son (who is in high school) has had a girlfriend for the past year. What are their reasons? Although he denies it, I have read all through the text conversations they have had that proves it to be true and I have seen the ads of her soliciting sex with my own eyes. Young boys with low self-esteem are attracted to girls that make them feel good about themselves. She's the one with the closest relationships to all involved. How would you feel if your own son's girlfriend called you names? What can I do? Going through serious life stuff. It is very hurtful, but I will continue to invite both of them to spend time with us. massage overland park. We are truly concerned about his world revolving around these people. Learn from the experience - that is what I am trying to do. 2K views, 27 likes, 7 loves, 18 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Dbstvstlucia: DBS MORNING SHOW & OBITUARIES 25TH APRIL 2023 APRIL 2023 No. I was working a temporary job and since he was the only one working a full-time permanent job, I asked him to stay with me and help with the bills. Why else would a decent young man tolerate a girl who mistreats or disrespects his parents whom he loves? "Nice" young ladies/girls can have sexual hang-ups. My son's girlf friend will sleep over in his room. I didn't critize her when she relayed through my son, how mean it was of me to overlook doing something for her to celebrate her first mother's day. We then see pics of he and his girlfriend hanging out at the park, or movies, or with her family (taken on the same day as the one we tried to get together). And he'll be taking care of her. Son's girlfriend doesn't like me | Health24 Non-critical. I have no idea why or what we ever did to make her this way, but she has always been the same. On the other hand, my father likes my girlfriend a lot, he even called me and recently told me that my girlfriend checked him when he was admitted to hospital. Like attracts like, and he is becoming like her in her sad ways. Hi Doc, my Son is 18 and his girlfriend is the same age. Questions about her commitment or plans for the relationship. Break the ice with some funny family stories and invite her to share her own memories with your son. Asks them questions about how they feel about their situation. In turn that left us having to beat on the door asking her to please get up and leave. It is hard to teach young ones that breaking up feels bad but it is better than breaking up when there is so much more at stake such as divorce and children. He gave his horse back( that he loved so much) to the people he got it from because he wanted to spend his money on his girlfriend and her parents, he moved out of his apartment that he shared with his brothers that he USED to be real close with and moved in with her and her parents because he said THEY needed help financially, he bought them a 20,000 car after theirs broke down! my ex comes as frequently to visit our grandson as he can. When he does come by to grab closes he says hello mom and closea the door in my face. And it sounds as though they see themselves in the children's romance. "She might have been born poor but that made her humble unlike the other women I've met who are materialistic and vain. My eldest son Matt has been dating this girl who has been totally appauling both my younger son Mike 17, my husband and myself. Son's relationship with needy woman causes concern - Detroit Free Press "Let your partner know it means a lot to you to see . She claims to be a witch. Taking Action In Your Sons Unhealthy Relationship. "Mom, this girl makes me happy." She sounds like an extremely insecure person who needs to self-protect. ian thomas drummer heart attack; poeme sur l'enfance malheureuse. Why would my son stay with a girl that threatened to beat my butt and call me horrible names? The hard part is hoping your son will wake up before making any lifelong commitment to this girl. He sees your disapproval as criticism of his life choice. Unfortunately, your deeply in love son may not yet be in a position to differentiate an. She is always asking my son to ask me to help them and her financially. I almost feel as though she's brain washing him. She's 17. Get off to a good start by striking up friendly conversation and demonstrating your genuine desire to know her better. Your son reacts negatively or flinches in her presence. Bless you cecgggceekac. Practical Tips & Advice For Everyday Parenting. What's your favorite food? As much as it hurts, you are all not alone in your situations. Your email address will not be published. It's hard to talk to your adult child about his choice of mate because he will see it as yet another reason to protect her. I didn't smother her with love just showed her that she was special. I don't know what he is going to do, and none of them will talk to me. We don't see the spiritual powers at work, and this experience may be invaluable in building his character and life knowledge. After her relentless begging, I decided to let her move in because I thought the only way he is going to know her is to live with her. Accepting. This woman doesn't care about those things." My son has turned all care of my grandson over to her and she is neglecting him horribly. And we presented our concerns. Note that I do not live with my parents as i am an independent person and have a professional job. In fact, if you have been too controlling throughout his upbringing, expect that this will be a time for him to establish his own independence. He had a family before he got with her. My son recently obtained custody of his 3 year old son after a 2 year custody battle. But he was not street smart before meeting this woman. Don't baby him. Where is your hometown? Our grown children won't want to be around us if we're always offering our unsolicited opinions or judgments! 8. I returned the last month rent she paid (that is how bad I wanted her out). If you continue to "keep away" from them, they will blame her for that so try not to stay away. It feels bad because the person has some good or redeeming qualities and there could be some good feelings and even love there. Moving on, as my son got the career opportunity, Scarlet came every week and they lived on the phone 24/7 because she cheated on him twice and he could not trust her. Your email address will not be published. He is smart. And since I had not ever met her, she would reply to my son and my private conversations PUBLICLY on social media (repeatedly). My sons girlfriend is always calling him names and is always angry. son's girlfriend doesn 't like his family My adult son's girlfriend never goes home she sits in his bedroom all day smoking while he's at work she's lazy and doesn't clean up after herself she pays no money towards bills. Possible Reasons Why Your Son Is With A Manipulative Girlfriend, 3. Well, he told her and the woman blasted my sweet friend (and me) on social media so that the world could see!! Seriously. Your sweet, humble wife will not be threatened by it and your mother's insecure ego will be soothed.